the first installment

let's here it for braden making an appearance hopefully it's a regular thing. The more voices the better on this little thing.

This is the beginning a beautiful project the whale's log fictionalized

first the character list, a rough sketch outline and the first lines of the book, and the ten rules Seth lives by(it's going to be long so i'll leave it up for a week and half before we move on)Please comment any ideas or things you think that need to be changed.

Seth
A nearly 22 year old who is fairly tall and thin with 5 or 6 meaningful tatoes(very personal need ideas). He is the drummer of thier Band(Need a name). Lives by ten stead fast rules(I'll list them later but also need ideas) he learned from his brother, and his orginal college roommates. 12 credits shy from graduating with a psych degree but suddenly switches to philosophy giving him two more years of school. Ladies man who secretly wants to be in a romantic relationship, uses the excuses she wasn't the one for his exploits, but everyone knows he picks the crazy ones on purpose. Currently dating old flame which is giving him a headache. He is adopted and doesn't know his real parents. He does know his biological brother. His foster home was very stable. Worked with children for 4 years but took summer off, living off the retirment money he had to pay becuase of his job requirements. Has a roll off my back attitude as he constently loses things, and says things weird, but is the so called tone setter for this group. He is blindly confident about life as he is loud, funny, carefree, brutally honest and loving life for the simple things. a soco a coke kind of guy.

Gus
23 year old lead singer of the band. has been best freinds with seth since seth was 18. couple years away from education degree becuase he had to take time off fro money problems. He has short dread locks. Awkward and wierd childhood becuase his mother was married 8 times, he moved around a lot and father was no where to been seen except for a weird 6 month span were he brought gus a car and gave him 200 dolllars a month. Larege porn collection and very uncomfortable with girls as he puts them a step above himself and then tries to prove he his moarlly better. Very capable lead singer despite lack of confidence because he very witty, comical, loud and like's to put on a show. He is a security gaurd at night but leaves his post to back home to get high and play video games at night. Looks up to seth becuase of Seth's way with people in general especialy girls. he is a white russin kind of guy

Eddie
a 22 two year old bass player, but by far as the most musical talent as he also plays guitar, keyboard, and the harmonica very well. Long shaggy black hair with a thick black go-tee. He rotates three button down good-will shirts and either kakie shorts or jeans to wear. On regular days he only buttons the bottum three buttons and lets it all hang out, when he's at a forumal affair he buttons it all up but one for that classy look. He is an aviad madden gamer, playing the franchise mode all 30 seasons. Also like the previos two were he is awkward honest, loud, witty, and funny but quite in comparrison to Seth and Gus. Some people believe him to be gay becuase he shows very little interest in the oppisite sex. He tell's Seth and Gus that's he not and let's very one else talk because he finds it humerous. Very lazy as it has taken him four years to graduate from community college but by no means dumb. Sometimes can be socially dump but he always means well. takes the other side in argument with seth and gus. He works at night 6 hour shifts as a toll collecter. Has a over the top crazy dad who enjoys for the comedy factor. He his the main beer drinker of the group sometimes drinking alone.

Jim Cooper (Coop or Russ)
the young one of the group coming in at 20 years of age. Became friends with the group because of having class with Gus. Gus needed notes for all the classes he missed and Coop was thier to help. Got the name russ becuase that's the name on his fake id. He has a very athletic body with a military crew cut, acne is still a problem for this guy. Wants to be a lady's man like seth so picks seth's brain about the rules looking orgins and reasoning. Way to nice of a guy to ever truely be lady's man. He doesn't have the mean honest streak the other three have. He is gullable to a fault. Loves to get high. Very deep thinker and loves reflection on past events. Again just as funny and witty as the first three but not nearly as loud or confident with it. You have to pay attention to him to catch his one liners. the only one that comes from a stable home with his real parents. He still is searching for his drink of choice, as he drinks whatever the gusy have in front of him.

greg
24 year guitar player neve really seen ey to ey with seth. in a unstable long term relationship two year with a girl named tiffany, but has known to be unfaithful through out. Done some shaddy act lately with rent money and abdn gigs. Some believe he is palying the guys against tiff for his benifit. Wine drinker now, but was once jus the the other guys. Very much like seth as a ladies man before dating tiffany but unlike seth now lies about dating numerous girls. Doesn't acknowledge life before Tiffany. Okay Guitar player as in Kyle has to teach him all the rifts he cna't learn on his own. No stage presence at all. He has been to six different schools and is still 2 years away from graduation. Once really good friend with gus but it's starting to deterorate. it's like he playing house

Tiffany
Some waht attractive 22 year old who has been playing her divorce parents of each other for years and definetly a daddy's girl. Very manluplivated and getting what she wants but other than that very unintellegence. Has personal vendetta for seth but has reason to be becuase seth hasn't been that nice. Very jealous, very unstable, very much needs attention. Can't stand it when girls at shows rush the stage and flirt with Greg. Only supportive of the band when her friends are around. way to senstive adn particular about things as well has itchy to get married.

Tom
Seth's older brother. 30 year old milwaukee bussiness man. very stable and good with money. Helps seth out with college exspenses. Was married for two weeks. he has never talk about his relationship with seth. He reached out and found seth, he knows thier biological parents. while he has a job earning a 100,000 a year he doens' act or dress like it. Very calm and collected with thought and actions. very much a ladies man after divorce, saying he tried comminement once so he doesn't have to try it again. You can tell that the two boys are relates as a lot of their movements and little sayings are the same.

Cole Hammel
Seth's first college roommate. crazy drunk with nicknames of c-ham cham and tum tum. Used to be athletic since college has put on a lot of wieght. Very much a partier kind of guy who always has a girlfriend but not nessicaryily faithgul. Will talk about being faithful but isn't. Moved to Arizona on a whim and onced pee into a condom because he forgot it was still on his stuff. Also seems to be leader but in reality he is catious until someone else goes first

Great uncle J
Seth and Tom's biological uncle. Tom convince seth to meet him when seth was 15. He is 65 year old 350 pound man who carved out a bussiness life in denver. Very ould and crued but a fun loving one linning man. When describe it's har dot believ his antice when meet it's hard to believe he's married with two duaghters. Very giving and loose with money and has never tried to convince Seth to meet his parents. Accomplished cooks who swears he is healthly

Gean(o)
Eddies pot smoking eccentric dad. He is trying to make up for not being around when eddie was younger.Sell shoe inserts to help support people's feet. Always giving wierd gifts and showing up with a trunk of clothes of the bargin rake. gives everyone he likes a nickname. Believes his dream can be interperterd as visions, as a deep knowledge of native americans, espeacilly black hawk. Know for his famous cookouts drinks heavily. constanly rambles on about eddie's mom they are divorced and not good at hiding he doens't like someone.

Teagan Jane
Seth's most recent flame. they have a history she's a 5'6" auburn hair big butt bomb shell. SHe's playing hard to get by being difficult, then loving, then difficult. She kind of has a free pass in seth's life as she walks in and out as she pleases. From very well to do family who more than likely woudln't approve of Seth's and his up bringing and generally distaste of snobs. get's embaressed by Seth's and his freinds antice in public. goes to school to be a nurse pactitioner, parents pay for rent, car school. she is very unstable when she has to stand on her own.

Brian and Sarah
1st friend of the group to get married seth and eddie where in the wedding seth even gave a speech at the wedding. they have a very stable and loving relationship. Where even Sarah appreciates Seth, Gus, and eddie. The guys love visiting and have a lot of respect for them.

Bum
guy in san diego the guys befriend and party with in mexico very drunk and unstable

Bradem Kyle and JP
thier friends the hang out with around town
Steph cole's g/f
Mary steph's friend
Brooke and Jolene uncle jay's duaghters
Jennifer Hot waitress from san diego
Kaite bithc waitress from San diego
Girl in wheel chair
a couple of stripper names(need goog ones)
Roryand Lorijo(chirstian girls in San diego)
Denver Fight guys
Asu girls who ditch seth
collen and Haily french girls
eddies' old girl from the beach.

Seth's rules
1) wiat it out
2)Don't burn bridges
3)your only allowed 15 friends very once else in an aquintance
4) Having sex three times with a girl constitutes a relationship
5)don't trust people who don't drink
6)you win some you lose some get over it
7)dont' date ashley's and tiffanys
8)
9)
10)

outline
1) basemena life
2)band pratice
3)A show
4)geano visit
5)basment life
6)going away night
7)ride to denver
8)1st night in denver
9)boulder
10)uncle jay and the strippers
11)tom and seth conversation
12)Cole's place
13)River
14)shower scence
15)ASU wheel chair race
16)Dinner with tom
17)Driving through the desest
18) Arriving at heaven
19)French babes
20)Downtown San diego
21)1st trip tp hooters
22) bumming on the beach
23)mexico
24)2nd hooters
25)chirstain girls(that's a wierd name)
26)beach time
27)3rd hooters
28)bar
29)going home

First lines of the book
"Dating her is like being hooked on cocaine" Seth said.
"How so?" Gusd asked
"Well at first it's fun, it's a great high but eventually it will ruin your life"
"Wiat have you even tired cocciane once"
"No"
"then how do you know"
"I dont' but i'm pretty sure the comparrisons works
"Ouch, fucking basement" eddie said.
"Good morning Eddied," Seth said.
"Watch out for the low haning pole" Gus laughed
"Living here just plain blows"

so what we need beside what you think nees to be changed
4 more rules for seth
any more character i'm leaving out
a change in the outline either an addition or a removal
a town can be made up but must be in a state that sucks.
name of two samlls schools close by with in a hour again can be made up towns and school names
personl tatoes for the Seth character
good funny stripper names

from the author
Cotton Fields

Bed Sore Sunday

Hey yo! this is the wild mann's first actual post i think ever. i'll try to at least make this redable with you guys not having to edit while reading, which is what i find myself doing during certain posts' on the blog(no names needed). today, monday the 18th of september marks the first monday after actually watching football all weekend(finally got some rabbit ears for the TV at casa de crowded, still no cable) so i dubbed yesterday(sunday) as "Bed Sore Sunday"(if you don't get it your retarded and should kill yourself now you might still get a full page in the yearbook).

-i'd like to start by saying the college football instant replay set up is absolutly atrocious, if your new to this as i was, heres a small explination. the booth reviews every play and if they think there may be a change they relay a message to the refs on the field. which for this particular game(Oklahoma v. Oregon) was every other down. needless to say there was alot of waiting no flow to the game what so ever. so after 2 hours of football action and and 3 of watching replay the game came down to an onside kick for Oregon to have a chance or Oklahoma to run out the clock for a well earned win. so there was a decent onside kick by the Oregon KOS and after the ball goes about eight yards off the bounce a crazed oregon duck tips the ball off a sooner and after a short scrum Oregon came out with the ball, which replay showed an Oklahoma member actually recovered(keep in mind the kicking team cannot touch the ball first unless it goes 10 yards) of course like every other play of the game, it was reviewed. the quote from Dan "state the obvious " Fouts "oh, no question" referring tho the call being overturned. but of course the Derryls calling the game let the call on the field stand(the wrong one) which left oregon with a chance to waltz down the field for a score to win the game. no it is Oklahomas D who is to fault for the touchdown but i place the blame square on the incompetent shoulders of the refs' for Oklahomas D even being on the field. this ranks right at the top of ref blunders going against my favorite teams even above the Donte Hall thirce clipping fiascoe against Denver, this one trumps that soley because the refs had a chance to right a wrong here but refused to pull their heads out of their asses. i held out hope that the football gods would rectify this as they did for pittsburg in the AFC championship game against Indy, but, no dice.

- one plus to sat. college football was Notre Dames' hunchbacking against Michigan. maybe a trend here, ND may not be able to win one that matters. ie. USC last year, or Ohio state in last years bowl game, maybe we should change Bradys last name to Manning? oh yea michigan plays Big Ten Football JP's favorite.

-if your not watching the 1 hour series House. you fucking should be!!!

-biggest problem with Madden '07 they got rid of teh fantasy draft(at least onXbox 360) absolutly rediculous, this takes it down to Madden '97 level.

-best non athlete job in football, the guy who holds the hats for quarterbacks while there on on the field. this has got to be easier than the bat boy, or the cord winder upper for coaches heaadsets. especially if you work for the texans, browns or titans Qb's cuz its a three and out every time.

-this weeks fantasy pickle, my favorite team(Cowboys)play against my fantasy defense (redskins) do i bench my D cuz i think my team will win or do i play the odds that drew bledsoe will throw three picks and lose a fumble, thats like 12 points right there. luckily i benched the D and the boys got the W, dodged that bullet.

-shannon sharp is about as ariculate as as mike vick is accurate.

-i really wish i could swear off McDonalds food based only the fact i hate their commercials. there are countless 30 sec. spots of party hosts making sure the party is complete with dollar menu items or double qtr. pounders as or doorvs(i know that was way off but i couldn't even spell it close enough for microsoft word spell check to recognize it but you know the word assholes)no body has ever got party food from mcdonalds i really believe if you washed down a big mac with a bud you would go into cardiac arrest. i want a real life commercial like 2am smoking a blunt as you drive up to the intercomm ask for a minute to think, take five then blow $10.63 on a combo meal super sized, McFlurry, and a parfait. i would really boycott if i could clog 3 of 4 arteries for any cheaper. i bet if you weighed the food before you ate it then after you shit it out they would weigh exactly the same cuz there is no nutritional value anywhere.

-i dont think the bears will score on an opening drive all season. really, three and out punt. opposing team start at their own 30 loses 10 yards, fumbles or throws a pick, then rex can hand off three times throw two screens and two outs to TE's then get a field goal or TD and do it all again next time. oh and now for my super bowl pick... bears v. ravens. the score will end 3 to 0 ravens off a McNair 10 yard hobble and stover 54 yrd. FG in double OT all set up by a double reverse to ed reed off a bears punt.

-i love the right down the middle receeding hair line it looks kinda like the old brown grass thats left on the front lawn once you empty your kiddie pool in August. or maybe the fairway of a really shitty golf course where theres more divits that grass.

-heres an idea instead of having sideline reporters that state the obvious(like there arent enough of those announcing) we replace em with reporters who say what everyone else is really thinking. like wow those cheerleaders are hot i wonder how many players they've blown? or how many times do you think popeye jones' wife has cheated on him?

-deal or no deal host Howie Mandel looks like a forty year old body with a eight year old cancer childs head, then just add the wooly willie soul patch(for you young bucks who are unfamiliar with wooly willie it was a cardboard face with a plastic bubble over the top inside the bubble were metal shavings that your could drag around the face with the attatched magnet pencil, great fun)

-now i'll leave you with the title of a movie everyone should check out it's "Family Stone" or "The Family Stone" with luke wilson, hayden from coach(who is a dead ringer for St. Johns Bay apperal cover boy)and some other good actors and ess'
thanks to whoever may waste ten min to read this. comment if you like it and if not shut the fuck up and send nothing. that way if there are no comments i'll just keep all this hilariousness to myself.

-wild mann-

one last question whats more gross removing a girls shirt only to find tits that look like wal-mart sacks half filled with water(visualize it) or hitt'n from the back and seeing the all natural o-ring hair circle fading into the gooch(i just threw up in my mouth a little bit)

from the porch (pimp my ride)

All those you know about the Whales vagina log please read the post below.

Has any one freaking seen the new cast of Pimp my bull shit ride. They replaced the whole cast with a whole new shop and one hold over mad mike(the tech guy). This is fucking ridiculas. I'll admit the first time around the show had terrible acting but at least i knew what i was getting and bunch of really smart car guys with ingenius ideas on how to put shit in a car that doesn't belong, Plus they actully looked like car guys good great grand. The show was great, X the Zibit was a great host who just kind of luaghed at the car guys inability to say anything tv worthy. They were horrible but in thier defense they were car guys first and tv personality second. I understood and i always enjoyed the shows in the mornings on Saturdays becuase it was great tv for a hang over, not to serious and unintentially funny.
Well i don't have tv in my life for about 8 months and come to find out shows like Willin out(still great) Flavor of Lover(better) stayed with made them work, bad comedy and crazy girls. MTV screws up pimp my ride with a whole new shop meaning all new characters except mad mike who's ego has swelled to the point were i watched three shows and he refers to himslef in the third person the entire time while telling himself how great he is. All the other new people are trying to be tv personality first like all the sudden every mechanic has a trendy hair do, with nice fancy clothes, give me a freaking break. they do wierd little stuff to try to make the show funny, like having to guy mold clay together a la ghost. The first season that's where the unitential comdey scale was at it's best, the second season it wants to make you puke. X has almost stop talking entirely when he's in the shop, he just drops the car off, and then brings back the kid. I hate it.
To some it up best it's like Silas from Grand View, my first year he was all right becuase he was silas, bad one liners, akward with girls, dressed like it was picture day in elemantry school but you didn't mind him becuase he was silas, well then second year grand view Silas made out with some stupid freshman girls(who didn't) and all of the sudden he breaks off becoms leader of a wierd group of guys, get's the lastest clothes and acts like he is very cool, but we all knew he was trying to hard.
thanks MTV you ruined my favorite hang over show by turning into the bad silas, sometimes it's okay to the be dorky awkward kid. It works for some people

everything is a work in progress (especailly pimp my ride.)
jp