From the Porch ( St.Patty's day) volume 1 week 2
We'll start with a story this week. The first 40 oz Friday of the year was a huge success. People in attendance Braden, Kyle, the librarian and my self. Braden cheated and got a high life 32 oz but since it's the high life we let it go. We all drank our 40s while playing Asshole and chatting when Kyle says to the Librarian who just got her hair dyed a shade of auburn red "I got to be honest with I don't like the red." and then later he says to me "hey I read the first from the porch thing it was really good but it's kind of random" I say "yeah that's the point" he replies
"Oh, but it's kind of Random." we head off to the bar after Braden, The librarian and I have finished out 40s Kyle has finished off 80 ounces. We go to the hill and up to a bar. The librarian goes to get a pitcher of beer and I went to a table and meet some folks. Kyle is hanging out by the bar with Braden when a fairly drunk but attractive girl most college guys would have seen stumbling around the bar and thought let's hit on her bumps into Kyle enough to spill a little of his beer. Most humans would have let it go because you are in a bar these things happen but Kyle stops the girl and say to her "No, excuse you." She says "What?" he says "You bumped into me and didn't say excuse me, so I'll say it for excuse you." Now if this girl had to walk all the way across the bar he would have been fine but she sits down at the table two feet from our group and starts throwing out original comments like shave your eyebrows, are you a faggot and do you even have a penis. She tops it all off with a middle finger waving in the air becuase she didn't care. Kyle responds "Your witticism amazes me"
Ladies and gentlemen I give you Kyle Johnson
now to this weeks lists
1)Do Spanish speaking people call the card game uno one?
2)St Patty's day is my 2nd favorite holiday Thanksgiving is my first Christmas is 3rd and Arbor day come in right around 15th
3)I picked Witchita state to make the sweet 16th we half way home
4)two books recommendations this week the first one is The Lovely bones by Alice Sebold. It's actually getting turned into a motion picture it's about a girl who is killed and has to watch her family go through the grieving process from heaven. Absolutely amazing writing
5)is the book called Now I can Die in Peace by Bill Simmons better known as the sports guy from Espn page 2. Very funny for anyone who likes pop culture and sports especially hating the Yankees, the cool thing about this book is the foot notes it's like a string of one liners
6)Good News,the Librarian not mad at all about the nickname I granted her.
7)A quote from Carl Rave the architect of the Bush Presidency "As people do better they vote republican unless they have too much education then they vote democratic which proves there can be too much of a good thing" This man help shape our country can we get better leaders, it's the greatest country in the world and it's run by morons imagine if we had good leaders.
8) I read that it Play boy which was a side not on the Kayne West Article where I also found out when he made his famous claim that Bush hates black people and it was cut from the show when it aired on the west coast proving we're still censored.
9)Kyle Johnson said your witticism amazes me
10)My new slogan for life "everything is always a work in progress"
11)X-men three is coming out and I"m excited
12) Finally I know I cheated and wrote this before Friday but it's St' Patty's tomorrow do you really think I'm going to be in any condition to write this tomorrow
Plan your work, work your plan
JP
posted by The hipster Cedar rapids @ 8:52 PM
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