From Cotton Fields chapters descriptions 1 through 20

I don't want any one to miss Braden post about Ohio which was posted yesterday so please scroll down and have a read it is very amusing and I laughed out loud a couple of times. Kyle rule #8 is I'm the gazelle you the lion sorry for being a dumb ass. I have a very detailed outline for the book ready for eve ones approval, again any stories you think need to be added I'm sure we can work them in. Their are also some important things notes to myself on what each chapter needs to do, but you are reading the first draft revert back to those notes and see if I've accomplished my goal.

Chapter One
Friday Morning guys are in the basement talking about last night when I disagreement over where to eat arises they solve this by the golf game. Using the phrase putt it out. We learn the night before Seth ran into Teagan(old flame) and despite Gus's advice not to call he does, but Gus and Eddie talk Seth into allowing them to water balloon her, including Greg and Tiffany in on the action, After Teagan isn't too pleased but when she site down on the furniture all wet Tiffany freaks out blaming the guys. Teagan now very upset pulls the water bottle routine before leaving. (Good opening chapter I think starts to show two sided tiff, teagan being unstable as well shows the guys being well the guys, must hit home how bad the basement really is)

Chapter two
Friday night Tiffany and Greg are having dinner when Eddie and Gus role in with 40s, leading to a small gathering on the front porch with Coop, Kyle, Braden, and Scottie. Tiff and Greg a little miffed about having dinner interrupted but are invited by the guys in join them, they don't. They head to the bar were Eddie pulls the Your witicism amazes me scene. Seth runs into Teagan and she follows him to very bar. Coop inquires why Seth is okay with this and rule # 8 is applied I'm the gazelle she's the lion she's chasing me. Come home to do your dishes sign from Tiff even though the boys hate out,and Gus down stairs playing video games while he was susposed to be at work. Seth hooks up with Teagan in the spare bedroom which has been forbidden by Tiffany but he asked for permission and she said yes, then freak out to Greg about it.

Chapter three
Saturday afternoon Greg late for practice again as Seth has just returned from a hair cut. Gus and Eddie are playing golf game for a quarter a shot. Greg finally arrives then Tiff interrupts, things settle down when Greg throws out the little oppi that could line toward Seth making fun of his hair cut. Tiff interrupts again. Gus starts to make fun of Eddie for wearing someone else's hat which is weird at first but increasingly becomes funny as he starts to put in the lyrics to every song they practice. Tiffany interrupts again. Seth finally throws out the Yoko line toward her. They try to learn a new song but Greg hasn't learn is part ending practice.

Chapter Four
The following Friday,at the bar setting up for the show, Greg isn't there yet as Brain, Sarah,Coop, TJ, Scottie are there helping the guys. A local lady named Kimmie is there getting drunk. Greg finally shows up with Tiffany and about 10 friends. First set closes with "Scottie don't know" with Scottie and Brain hogging the dance floor, ending when Eddied gets out a toy drum set for Seth to solo on. Tiffany and TJ talk very nicely in the bath room(setting up future drama) Cops show up with a noise complaint. End second set with own original song "drunk on a Tuesday", and Gus using the mike stand to golf the little drum set into the wall. Chapter ends with Gus taking Kimmie outside
(Solid chapter setting up the fight afterward, must hit home Tiffany playing nice with every one at the show)

Chapter Five
Starts with Gus returning and then Greg saying Teagan's not allowed to the after party at because she doesn't respect Tiff, Greg, and their home. Tiff and Gus get into it while Seth talks to Scottie deciding to move their party to his place. They party until 4 in the morning doing keg stands, Gus tells the kimmie exploits Coop can't believe Greg actions being out rule # 7 don't date Ashley and Tiffany's, They take off for the McDonald but Kyle has passed out so they leave a note tape to him saying they'll come get him tomorrow. Go to McDonald order a mc chicken and get informed they are serving breakfast. Chapter ends with Kyle showing up at The guys house with the note still taped on him.(The beginning of this chapter has to show Gus starting to tear away from Greg and Eddie and Seth's indifference almost like they saw it coming and have already excepted it.)

Chapter 6
Wednesday afternoon Gean shows up with a half of 12 pack of bud ice gone and a trunk full of clothes, prompting the guys to have a clothes draft, he also has a basketball just encase their is a court close to the beach, a flashnight, and fleece blanker just encase the car breaks down in the mountains.(Maybe need less practicable ideas) Tiffany has friends at the house so she is super nice, gean starts snapping pictures while he cooks 8 lbs of meat at once, but leaves Tiffany out of most pictures on purpose.

Chapter 7
Wednesday night with Gean at a Jazz show, Gean begs Gus to get high in between sets. Talks to Eddie by saying you how your dad is he likes to get drunk confusing their friend Braden, Coop, Kyle. He also tell the boys about his older Mexican lady friend and about his preminmission about Eddie and California Seth notices a girl he once hooked up with nickname turn signal because of her nose. He goes back over to tries to reignite the fire prompting rule # 2 don't burn bridges. Come home at 2 am to cook on the griddles(yeah we need it) that Gean brought with and a sign on the computer which Gean rips of and burns. Turn Signal accompanied the boys home resulting in a funny story over the midnight snack.

Chapter 8
Saturday afternoon all the boys are hanging out for a whiffle ball game, and they decide to get Greg and Tiffany with the water balloon gag when they get home from an afternoon date. The bunnies consisting of Seth, Gus, Eddie and Scotties play with other guys in a game of whiffle ball including a shot to the bartman limb. A number of people are hanging out including Teagan prompting a questions from Coop and Gus fills him in our Rule # 4 having sex three times with a girl constitutes a relationship and seth hasn't reached that point yet so hooking up with Turn signal is okay. Tiffany has a fit when the games runs long.(By now the guys are ready to be out of here becuase they can't stand Tiff.)

Chapter Nine
With Brain and Sarah in town they decide to go bowling, Tiffany wants to go out but Greg suggest they go bowling she say are they going to be there. The guys ditch greg and go bowling, they throw shoes down the lanes, bowl with their pants down and TJ tries to start a fight with Seth. Gus hooks up with Nicole his ex but tells her this is just a one night think
(This chapter is to show what the guys are leaving behindie Scotte, Kyle, Braden, Brain and Sarah in comparrsion to what they want to leave behind ie Tiffant Greg(as long as he's with Tiffany and Teagan is moving up the board quickly. Also Having Gus Hook up with His old girl give us room for a funny as story)

Chapter ten
Tuedsay the day they leave on the trip Gus's shoes stink up the car they go to Wal Mart meeting up with a friend of Nicole's telling Gus she turned down a date tonight because she thought he might come around. Prompting Seth and Eddie to infrom Coop of Rule # 9 which was invented by Gus; Despiration is an oder no perfum can mask. Coop pays for turkey meat in change they almost run out of gas.(This Chapter i want the reader to get the feeling of i don't know where this trip is headed making them want to rip through the next 3 or 4 chapters)

Chapter 11
Tuesday night dinner with Brian and Sarah on they way to Denver leading to stories from Seth and Eddie at thier rehersal dinner, the strip club that night, their wedding also leads to the story of Why Coop can't have shotgun the entire way out to S.D.

Chapter 12
Wednesday Night dinner with Uncle Jay, Brooke, Jolene(duaghters), and Tom(seth's brother) starting with dollar store and happy places remarks and explanation of rule # 3 only have 15 friends every one else is an anquintance. Downtwon denver, no coors light, montanea elway fight, Eddie disppearing in search of a taco bell. Meeting chinese guy who can hook them up with strippers Heading the the pool hall where DJ wiff and the flop comes out. Also Eddie stealing 2.54 in change from the down stairs register. Gus's tree climb and almost fight, then apoligzing when they get back by saying i should of taking my beating ( Don't short change all the events here let them develop even if this becomes two chapters because a lot of funny storis here)

Chapter 13
Nose blow from hell, to meeting a pirates fans(so is gus) eating at BJs and then taking a picture, getting in trouble for elk picture, Coop almost getting run over and the fast food stort(this might be the chapter that gets cut)

Chapter 14
The gang heads to the strip club with Tom and Uncle Jay leading to all of uncle jay's one liners Coop asking how much a lap dance cost and fumbleing on the g-string money plant( possibley the most unbelieveable chapter next to the mexico trip we have to make it believable)

Chapter 15
Tom-Seth-Gus conversation on friday on the way to Cole's stops include subway where the guys can't figure out if the worker is a girl or a guy and the name doesn't help (pat) (This chapter is very important because with the conversation between Tom, Seth, and Gus we need to show that there is s serious deep and very logical reason in why these guys act in such a care free manner. This chapter might determine if the character are considerabble very good natured, with morals or just punks.)

Chapter 16
They arrive at Cole's very late at night promting a night of drinking and college stories including the construction hat, the club shit, peeing in a condom, stealing b/f, fight with rival leaing to the explanation of rule #6 In a fight anything goes. After Setha and Eddie past out Cole, Coop, and Gus go out side find an abandon cart and go cart surfing.

Chapter 17
Wake up to cham and eggs, a debacle si made of loadign the coolers, Gus makes a huge stink about not drinking water, then does. Cole's reservations about tieing the tubes together. Steph(cole's g/f) and Mary get peer pressured into drinking. Sun screen is applied relentlessly

Chapter 18
starts with a guy sing the theme to gilligans island leading to Gus screaming i hated that show, To the guys seeing girls pee on the bank, to them cliff driving calmalating with Cole's watermelon drive. Eddie losing his sandals and having to be carried every where and the start of the group shower.

Chapter 19
Start's with Tom's cell phone call to Seth with Seth answering i can't talk right now i'm banging this girl in the shower. Everyone coming in a Peeing while the action is going on Gus's face cream getting molestered and than the failed attempt at a threesome.(This chapter isn't going to be easy to write)

Chapter 20
Starts with Techno dance, Gus finding is face and looking for answers, driving around Scottsdale for Gus ID which got left in Tom's car but Seth just can't say it right. They head to ASU and while Seth is trying to pick up a couple of girls, GUs get's denied with an expired id after having a nice conversation with the boucnes. they head to a couple other bars before walking back, when a Seth challenges a drunk girl ina wheel chair to a race. He let's her win but the guys can't believe the cap the night off with mexican food

the next 12 chapters will come tomorrow i'm off to buffalo to talk with some kids
home every one enjoys

cotton fields

Moon over parma???

As some know I made my first visit anywhere East of Illinois about a week ago. Myself and side salad(coty) made the trip to Cleaveland to visit John for a couple of days. It was a long drive but bearable since it was split between two people.

-First things first every gas station/truck stop along the interstate has a pleathera of beef/turkey/pork jerky options. The wierd thing is no matter the size of the acctual store there is the same assortment of jerked choices(always taking up it's own isle). Is dried meat really that essential to staying up hours upon hours through the night, but I can't complain I did patronize the chewy stuff on two occasions(although I'm sure Coty would complain because out of two purchases of one jerky each time it probly took a total of thirty min. to decide, thats the real reason truckers never sleep they have to make up for lost time choosing beef jerky teriyaki or cajun pork, or the ever ellusive black pepper paired with a stick of co-jack.

-The first city/town we went through was Maumee, but that wasn't the best part because Maumee is located in wood county thats right WOOD, eventhough I'm past my pubescent years I could'nt help but day dream about the porn plot of a movie called "Maumee in Wood County" with a sequal "Mountmee in Wood County". Speaking of porn I watched a scene the other day that had me rolling. Not because of bad acting or even the inevitable eye pop shot with the knee-jerksesque head turn(by the way that always reminds me of JFK the movie "Back and to the left... Back and to the left"). This was funny because of a serious wardrobe mix up this scene takes place in the mid evil era and is entitled hurcules, all of the men wear loincloth and women in leaf outfits only one small confusion hurcules is wearing socks. now I'm not positive when the sock was first introduced but I'm almost positive ol' Hurk had none.

-Once we got to Johns house, which is now why I know exactly how crack dealers live. No furniture to speak of what so ever besides a chair and two beds, but also fifty inch plasma T.V. I felt just like Neno Brown it was cool. The best part of the trip hawever was going out to watch the Browns game at a bar, bar was nice(if it weren't for the three dollar beer specials, thats right I said SPECIALS!!!!) the girls were out everyone was in orange or brown(which is why they never win like god would ever let an orange and brown team be the best in any sport or any year. orange and blue ok Elway made it work, The Orangemen Boheim and his zone even got one. If you wear these colors your just beg'n for bad karma) but the browns were up 14 to 3 at halftime, and then slowly but surley did nothing else the rest of the game and watched Matt Stover hit a field goal with under a min left to win by one. Don't forget about that super bowl prediction made after week two Ravens, Bears is starting to look pretty good right now eh?

-So after yet another Cleaveland sports let down myself John and his brother staarted talking about the extint of Cleavelands let browns, I mean let downs, let downs my bad. And it was decided Cleaveland has every right to be more miserable than any other sports city. How many times did we see Elway crush the Browns or Ernest Byner, or MJ dangle the dollar in front of Ehlo, Price, Williams, Nance, Wilkinis and co. before they realized it was attatched to fishing line and yanked out of their pocket when they turned around. How many times did the Indians make it to the world series to piss themselves out of a ring, hell the only team the Braves beat for their ring was you guessed it, the Indians. The Braves were the Bills of baseball untill they faced Cleaveland. So I give the Cleaveland fans undaunting respect for taking the loses as the Cubs, and Sox fans did for years, but without the pussy pouting we heard from Chicago and Boston. Bears had '85, and White Sox in '05. While Patriots had the only football dynasty post '91-94 boys, and then Boston got one from the Sox in memorable fashon in '04. So, Cleaveland your hopes now rest on LeBron as long as he doesn't pull a Sam Bowe or even worse a, dare I say, Patrick Ewing. Don't hold your breath, cuz if you do, you'll end up holding your breath.

-And now for the biggest atrocity of the trip. No the year. It was determined about a week in advance that we would go to Lido's stip club on Mon. nite(no thats not a typo Lido's with a D not a T). After myself John and Coty pay the $5 cover we belly up to the bar for a $4 dollar beer. When Harmony click clacks over to ask "Which one is she with"? Coty and I respond in unison with, "him" as we point to John. so Harmony being the vet. that she is says "OK" and B-lines it to me, classic absolutly classic. So after that she asks me to buy her a beer, no prob I say and order another for her if only because that kind of honesty should be rewarded with a $4 dollar beer. Little did I know that girls get paid for people to buy them a drink total comes to $12, $4 for each beer and an extra $4 for her. Last time I maked that mistake $4 bucks for her to drink a beer next to me when I can get ghonarria for a dollar when she's on stage fuck that. So anyway back to the hidious'ness. I find out that John, the proposer of the FESC rule that each member should go to a strip club with at least one other member once a year. Has been to Lido's three times, two of which were with a FESC member, yet he did nothing but partake in the $4 dollar beer raping while he was there with a fellow member. Strange you ask? As did I. But it turns out both times a fellow FESC member was with him so was his Side Salad, coincidence? I think not, maybe John is entering into Whipped category and should start hanginh out with Wilkins a little more. Then after speaking with member Johnson who was with John his second time at Lido's, I find out niether him or John took advantage of the tits which were all around them. So out of three FESC members who have paid $5 cover and $4 dollar beer I am the sole member who has helped any worker there pay for school(or at least thats what they told me they were doing) this is a travesdy a sham and a mockary, you can finish the rest. Answer me this what would uncle Danny say???? Really.

- I need some Bill Walton jargon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Ohio State = Good, Iowa Hawks = Dsappointment(for their fans that is, to everyone else it's just comedy)

- Remember this no matter the education someone may or may not have, how nice their clothes are, or the amount of their salary, ignorance cannot hide. Charactor CAN trump stupidity, but NOTHING can refute ignorance.

- This weeks fantasy conundrum is at TE. Jason Witten, AT the Titans(he went to University of Tennesee)or Kelen Winslow V. Raiders. I went with the sentamental choice and took Witten, he scored 0 points and Winslow got 7. Goes to show the depth of the Raiders crappieness should never be underestimated.

- If you were the principal of any Elementary, Jr. high, or High school the very best hall monitors are the kids in wheel chairs, the have the walk/run envy any kids who pick up the pace too much, I garantee you'll know make, model, and color of shoes and laces to dispurse appropriate punishment. On the same note do you think a poker player would have an advantage if he had a physical deformity on his face? ie: hairlip, hidious birth mark or lazy eye. No one could read them cuz all he'd have to say is "What the fuck are you look'n at"? and act all pissed. "Oh nothing nothing, nice to meet your mole, I mean I was trying to get a read. Shit!! I fold".

- Song quote to remember
"I'll keep on starring,
shaved or hairy
cuz thats the type of fella that I am.

I'll pop that cherry
If it's necessary
somthin somthin somthin, jam"

It's a good one, thanks Zach.

- Now I've watched Kingpin a few times this past week and it may be the funniest movie ever. I love the pump and dump scene, priceless, other genious parts every time the hand gets touched there a faint squeak or noise, listen closely hilarious detail. It would be a crime if i didn't mention the milk your cow,er bulll scene. "it takes a little while to get warmed up, but then BAM all at once". Everyone should go buy it now and memorize it. And if you want to see a really good movie get "Big White" with Robin Williams and Woddy Harralson really really good.

-For any NBA fans i'm hoping to start a fantasy basketball league, all rules would be voted on by team owners we'll try to make it as low matinaince as possible so it will be easy for everyone to stick wit it the whole season. I'd liket to have a live draft with as many peaople present as possible, if not we'll have to do the via cell phone, any thoughts on when where are rules fell free to post, call, fax, or just page me.

-Wild Mann-

- If your wiping your ass and feel your finger break through the paper do you smell it???